wow I just heard on the radio that 52% of Americans think that Saddam is linked to the attacks on 9/11.

For the record I will repeat this: SADDAM HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH 9-11! We invaded Iraq under FALSE pretenses and the uneducated and naive public bought it, swallowed it and now we have to pay for it and eat our own shit.

Yes I'm glad they got rid of Saddam and when I asked Iraqis, what about the Weapons of Mass Destruction? And some would tell me that Saddam was the WMD. hmm...

In fact Iraq now is more of a threat to the world and the USA as a direct result of the US occupation. I believe the next attack on the USA will not come from AlQa'ida or any organization but will be an individual operating on their own. You will never win the war on terror Mr.Bush because we are against you, not with you, therefore we are the terrorists.

Let us hope for the best for Iraqis.

from my cousin tk from Baghdad,

Date: Mon, 10 May 2004 01:48:37 -0700 (PDT)

long long long time usama and no see
even your blogger is getting slower.
and the country is falling down with no reason !

and all the news is talking about is abu graib and US slodiers.
already said that these things happen .
in the middle of the US
in iran
in kuwait....every were
maybe car accedent kill more people every day
the world should not focus on abu graib
it should focus on the business in Iraq that is going down
the burglers are returning and rising
the kidnaping of rich or foriegn people began to be a habit
the life is geting worse and we are thinking of abu graib
we should not focus there
well dam all that
it is a sad letter
booo!!!
how are you ?
tk your friend


My cousin tk wants to come here to Chicago and visit me. I am looking into finding the best legal route for him. Any suggestions?

I watched it.

This Abu Musab al-Zarqawi guy that claims to avenge the torture of Iraqis by beheading the American citizen is a scumbag. I repeat Al-Zarqwai has no claim or right to speak for Iraqis. He is a sham and using this US occupation to declare war on Shia's and anyone cooperating with the US. Whatever you may think of the Abu-Graib pictures do not applaud this fuckhead. He has killed so many Iraqis by his various 'resistence' methods.


here is the article:Al Qaeda's leader in Iraq beheaded an American civilian and vowed more killings in revenge for the abuse of Iraqi prisoners, an Islamist Web site said Tuesday.

A poor quality videotape on the site showed a man dressed in orange overalls sitting bound on a white plastic chair in a bare room, then on the floor with five masked men behind him.

"My name is Nick Berg, my father's name is Michael... I have a brother and sister, David and Sarah," said the bound man, adding he was from Philadelphia.

After one of the masked men read out a statement, they pushed Berg to the floor and shouted "God is greatest" above his screams as one of them sawed his head off with a large knife then held it aloft for the camera.

The Web site said Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, a top ally of al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden, was the man who cut off Berg's head. The statement read out before the killing was signed off with Zarqawi's name and dated May 11.



source

When I was in Baghdad and discussing the Coalition, the US government and various members of the Coalition Provisional Authority my Uncle said: they are all looters, all of them...they are all thieves and liars.

yes they are. All of them.

I've been disgusted and freaked out with the recent Abu Ghraib images of prison abuse at the hands of the US. Here in the USA it is getting much publicity and Bush has made some lame statement about how this is not representative of the USA. Yeah sure Mr.Bushie. Anyway this is a micro incident of many atrocities that go on in Iraq at the hands of coalition. But as my cousin has stated in the past, these soldiers, any soldiers are going to behave in this manner during war. Can we compare this to what Saddam did? Well to make the parallel would be sort of ironic considering that this is what the US claims to have ended, all the torture and brutality of Saddam's 35 year regime. Can we ponder this a bit? Any Iraqi can tell you endless stories of what Saddam or his henchmen did. And they got away with acts that are much worse than the Abu Ghraib prison US photos. And why do we need to see photos to be outraged?
Why not be outraged at everything that is going on? 10,000 Iraqis dead since the occupation and rising. I think in a way that some Iraqis will automatically be silent. But please do not be silent dear friend. These sadist need to be punished. A buddy from work who is in the US Airforce told me that those soldiers should be executed for what they did. Well that seems a bit harsh, he said it, not me.

However, following the publication of the photos by the CBS television network one wonders whether U.S. administrator Paul Bremer and Lt. General Ricardo Sanchez, the U.S. military commander in Iraq, were aware of the torture of Iraqi prisoners at Abu Ghraib prison.

If they were aware of the fact but failed to prevent it, then they should be tried in court according to Article 4 of the Geneva Conventions.

This article enumerates the rights of people whose countries have been invaded and occupied. It states that the occupying forces do not have the right to torture the occupied country’s nationals and if they do, the occupying country’s highest-ranking political official and military commander are to be held responsible for the crimes.

And this from Zmag.org :

"Breaking chemical lights and pouring the phosphoric liquid on detainees; pouring cold water on naked detainees; beating detainees with a broom handle and a chair; threatening male detainees with rape; allowing a military police guard to stitch the wound of a detainee who was injured after being slammed against the wall in his cell; sodomizing a detainee with a chemical light and perhaps a broom stick, and using military working dogs to frighten and intimidate detainees with threats of attack, and in one instance actually biting a detainee."

It's not really so much the torture. But the humilation that these photos protray; the female soldier in front of the naked Iraqi prisoners is going to give rise to more anger and hostility toward the US all over the world. Be prepared for more violence.

Go read that full article in Zmag. This has been going on for a while now and our US media that was once a cheerleader for Bushie has recently been a little critical now. Look, Bremer, Sanchez and the rest of those bastards all knew about this. They are only making a fuss since the pictures are out. Anyway, I have no idea who to vote for this coming election. Not Bush, Not Kerry (pro-Israel lover), so what? Nader...ahh Nader.

I wonder what my cousin thinks of all this? I should write him. In other news I showed a short video piece I made called BOMBSHELL: IRAQI SECRET VIDEOS AND ARTIFACTS FROM A FALLEN REGIME. I showed it at few places here in Chicago and it has raised discussion and I was even accussed of accepting money from the Republican Party! haha. These were clips that I bought from Baghdad when I was there.

The documentary is still is in the early phases. I will keep you posted.

bad news from the middle east

Iraqi officials say more than 60 people, including many children, were killed Wednesday, in a series of explosions in or near the southern city of Basra.

++++

A suicide car bomber destroyed a Saudi security forces building in the capital Wednesday, killing a senior officer and at least nine other people.

++++

Israeli troops killed seven Palestinians, the youngest 13 years old, in a raid into Gaza Wednesday to stop reprisal rocket attacks for the assassination of a top Hamas leader.

the scene in the Sunni area of Fallujah is disgusting and hardly representative of the Iraqi sentiment. these Fallujah folks are the ones that have the deepest sympathies with Saddam and they hate the US with a passion. Anyway http://www.juancole.com/ makes a good point in relating this incident as a reaction to the illegal assassination of paraplegic Sheikh Yassin by US backed Israel.

agghh...

K says she really doesn't want to return with me back to Iraq.

Maybe I should cancel my site seeing tour in Fallujah?

The documentary is in the infantile stage. I'm just dubbing the tapes and looking at footage. I've applied to one grant asking for more money to help me with post-production and a possible trip to Basrah. Soon my friend...

So I was re-reading a bunch of my older posts, and realizing that I was quite homesick and irritable at times. Part of it was being sick, and part of it was culture shock. I almost erased many of my entries out of embarrassment.

I just want to apologize. And I want to publically acknowledge that for any fault that I may have harped about regarding Iraq, I could find the very same fault, and probably ten worse faults here in America.

- Americans eat WAY too much sugar. The ailses at your corner store are filled with disgusting junk that we consume in mass qualtities, and sugar encrusted breakfast cereals are peddled during every children's cartoon.
- Americans have silly wives' tales - and many do believe that you can get a cold from being in the cold.
- American feminism is a little ignorant - it tends to focus on the most superficial aspects of being female, and forgets about real issues of equality.
- Americans are complacent. Half of us don't even VOTE!
- Americans smoke too much, even though they are aware of both the health risks and their own enslavement to feeding corporate giants a steady flow if their cash.
- Americans are materialistic - happiness is based on how much stuff you can aquire. It's particularly evident among children.
- Americans as a result of being materialistic, shackle themselves to horrible jobs that they hate and have no pride in, but which take up the largest portion of their lives.
- Americans pop pills for every possible ill, physical or mental, but don't maintain their bodies & minds so they don't get sick. Medicine is all about treament and not about prevention.
- Americans as a whole tend to be closed minded, and possess a heard mentality.
- Americans are hopelessly ignorant of other cultures. In fact they tend to be very culturally insensitive.
- Americans watch too much TV and believe it's reality.
- Americans don't read.
- Americans are hypocrits about issues of morals and ethics.


I don't ever want to come off as if I'm not critical of my own culture. As I said before, I am not really a typical American. I'm not even sure what a typical American is, but I do know that masses of Americans fit at least some of the above descriptions.

And this does not mean that I'm not critical of myself, either.

I could eat better, use curse words less, be warmer toward my fellow human beings, be less greedy, less self-centered, less irritable, less superstitious, and... last but not least... much much less critical of everything around me.


K

This is horrible. We were there, in Kadhimiya, at the spot where the blast occurred. This is where my Grandmother is buried and Kristie and I spent a day at the holy shrine. Our Family are the gate keepers for the Kadhimiya (spelled Kazimiyain this article) shrine. Now this...from the Gaurdian:

KARBALA, Iraq (AP) - Simultaneous explosions ripped through crowds of worshippers Tuesday at Shiite Muslim shrines in Baghdad and the city of Karbala, killing at least 143 people on the holiest day of the Shiite calendar, a U.S. official said. It was the bloodiest day since the end of major fighting.

The attacks, a combination of suicide bombers and planted explosives, came during the Shiite festival of Ashoura and coincided with a shooting attack on Shiite worshippers in Quetta, Pakistan that killed at least 29 people and wounded more than 150.

Tuesday was the climactic day of the 10-day Ashoura festival, which marks the killing of Shiite saint Imam Hussein in a 7th century battle. It is the most important period in the Shiite religious calendar and draws hundreds of thousands of pilgrims in Iraq, Iran, Pakistan and other Shiite communities.

Three suicide bombers set off their explosives in and around Baghdad's Kazimiya shrine, killing 58 and wounding 200, U.S. Brig. Gen. Mark Kimmitt told reporters. In Karbala, at least one suicide attacker blew himself up and pre-set explosives detonated, killing 85 and wounding more than 100, he said.

A fourth suicide bomber whose explosives did not detonate was captured at Kazimiya, and four people were arrested in connection with the attack in Karbala, Kimmitt told reporters in Baghdad. Another bomb was found and defused Monday night in Najaf, the holiest Shiite city, police said.


I called my father and he says he is sure these are outsiders, most likely Al-Qaida related. How disgusting to do this, from one Muslim to another. My father says there are more dead and counting and the numbers will go up.

Iraqi leaders trying to meet a U.S.-set deadline for finishing an interim constitution today faced disagreement on major issues, with several Shiites walking out of last-minute talks over the role of Islam on women's rights.

Members of the 25-member Iraqi Governing Council were trying to reach consensus on a charter that will serve as the basis of the legal system after the U.S.-led coalition returns sovereignty to the Iraqis on June 30.

But several hours of negotiations were halted late Friday after eight of 13 Shiite council members walked out over a decision not to make Islamic law the basis for issues like divorce and inheritance issues, according to Mahmoud Othman, a Sunni Kurd council member.

I don't think Islam should have much basis when drafting a new law for Iraq. Keep religion and government as separate as possible.

Click for photos of our trip.

Reflections on Baghdad...

I am back and trying to fall into my routine and start working on this documentary. I have urges to compare and contrast what I have seen in Baghdad in comparison to living in America. But you get into murky territory when you begin to hold up 'Western' vs. 'Eastern' cultural differences. K has elaborated on some of these. And since she is 100% All-America born and raised in Kansas I think her perspective is enlightening.

I've been asked by some friends and co-workers the same question: so what was it like?

Well, it's a hard question to answer and I'm not sure if I have just one answer for you. One thing for sure is that Baghdad is not your typical Middle Eastern city. It's one of the oldest cities in the world and you can feel and see a direct lineage to it's ancient past. Many of the customs, culture, food and music pre-date Islam. 12 years of harsh sanctions (thanks Bill Clinton for your slow death) and constant war had it's toll on Iraqis and the landscape. And yes you can blame Saddam for most of the damage. While Iraqis were suffering Saddam built extravagant mosques for millions of dollars. But the recent US occupation and bombings have had the most physical impact. For example, the Iraqi National Museum, was left unguarded and looters stole many priceless artifacts. And it got a giant missile hole right in the front of the entrance, go look at it. This pissed many Iraqis off. That US soldiers did nothing about the looting until a few days later.

There is very little in terms of law or regional policing. I mean there is really no established government yet. All you have left is people self-governing themselves. And I must say it is uplifting to see a whole society rely on itself to maintain order and harmony. True, there are many gripes and an endless list of complaints that deal with everyday life. But folks are managing and there is a friendly approach to conflict, even when things get heated. We laughed every night. People really do help one another out. They watch out for their neighbor and look out for each other. Something we can all learn from. The West must have seemed like a cold place to some Iraqis visiting here for the first time.

Is Iraq dangerous?

Yes it is. Although whenever I interviewed my Father about the state of Iraq he would elaborate in great length on how everything was 'normal' and that we never had any problems (true). But almost everyplace we visited had some form of an attack and even the open markets, like the 'thieves market' there was a robbery of someone my cousin knew. But my Father is correct in that Kristie and I were able to walk around and shop on our own with ease. The only thing that would freak me out is when there were US troops with their military vehicles and such.

But while we were in Baghdad we heard many bombs and we were near some of the places that got hit:

--Jan. 31: At least nine killed, 45 wounded by car bomb outside police station in the northern city of Mosul.

--Feb. 1: Two bombs explodes in a house occupied by many Palestinians. I believe two people died. (This is one of the first bombs we heard. It woke K up and freaked her out. The circumstances for the bombs are questionable. The next day there were a couple of car bombs aimed at Iraqis police officers in the neighborhood that my parents lived, no injuries.)

--Feb. 10: A suicide bomber explodes a truckload of explosives outside a police station in Iskandariyah, 30 miles south of Baghdad, killing 53 people. (We were there, this was near the open Market where K was a celebrity)

--Feb. 11: A suicide attacker blows up a car packed with explosives in a crowd of Iraqis waiting outside an army recruiting center in Baghdad, killing 47 people. (This made us jump out of bed. The sound and thunder of the explosion was so intense. You knew it killed many people, it had this dark residual silence after the blast...evil and meaningless.)

--Feb. 18: Two bomb-laden trucks blow up outside a Polish-run base in Hillah, killing at least 10 people, including the two drivers. Some 65 people are wounded, including Iraqis, Filipinos, Poles, Hungarians and an American. (this happened right after we left)*

(*Source: associate press)

I miss the rituals. When I would wake-up in the morning I could smell the tea brewing and the bread being warmed up. Maybe some eggs would be frying but we would always have 'gammar' (a type of cream) and 'dibbis' (date syrup) to spread on our bread. There would be cheese, tomatoes, cucumber and fruit. Breakfast would last maybe an hour or even longer since we may be talking about politics or religion. There is always talking and sounds from the many vendors on their carriages selling things on the street. You may hear one of the many stray cats outside the door meowing for scraps of food that my aunt would hand to them. Most of the cats are sick and look horrible. My aunt says all the cats after the war started getting ill and dying.

I do miss all my family in Iraq and the warmth that comes from that. Everyone is always ready to help you, take care of you and especially feed you! It's a whole side of my family that has been so far away from me. My cousin T is like my older brother, and my Uncle K is very much like a grandfather figure to me and Auntie S and the Luma's were always ready to feed me.

Bye sweet Baghdad.

I do encourage American citizens to travel to Iraq and to see for themselves what our foreign policy is doing. Go spend some time in Iraq but avoid the restrooms at the border of Jordan (yuck).

Iraqis are so generous and kind...


End of broadcast from a fever head-dream.

Okay. So. Having flaunted my ignorance, and shamelessly exposed being stuck in my Western mindset, as well as venting my pet peeves about my trip to Baghdad, I thought it would be a good time to list the things I liked and saw as advanced, positive, amazing things about Iraq.

1.) Healthcare: when I was sick, doctors were friendly, knowlegable, and accessible (they even made housecalls). When I needed any kind of medication I needed only visit a pharmacy and list my symptoms. High quality perscription medicines were extremely cheap (as I said, they were as little as two cents U.S. per pill), and hassle free. I was able to treat my acne which has been bothering me for over a year (it's all gone by the way!), as well as get Valium to help me sleep, and an antibiotic for my broncile infection. This is a million lightyears beyond healthcare in America, where, if I need a doctor, I have to assess whether I would rather pay my rent or get a check-up. Yes, it's that bad here. And a sipmle bottle of topical antibiotic for acne can cost up to $100.

2.) Childhood: Kids are very important in Iraq. As I mentioned, they are one of the reasons for living. And to top it off, they get the undivided attention of both parents, since divorce rates in the Middle East are very low. Family is important, and that can only be an advantage to a young child. But, as a side note, I do have to mention that I saw some child labor. It was usually children working in their parents shops. To be honest, I did the same as a child in my parent's store. It's a simple side-effect of entrepreneurship, and kids learn a lot from it, so it's not so terrible.

3.) No such thing as lonely: If you need someone, you will always find a cousin, friend, aunt, uncle, sister, brother, or neighbor to keep you company. For people who love people, it's a fantastic place to be.

4.) History: There is an awareness of history unlike I've ever recognized elsewhere. It's the cradle of civilization so they say, and you can feel it, see it, smell it. The place itself remembers and in some cases remains unchanged. Even the contemporary pop music is based upon long standing tradtions, styles, beats, melodies, instruments... Even in downtown Jordan I saw an ancient Roman amphitheater.

5.) Global Awareness: Along with common knowledge of history, there is also an awareness of woldwide current events. There are 125 newspapers in Iraq now!

6.) Dance: Iraqi's love to dance! From bellydancing to Chobie in a big circle, music and dance is everywhere! I got pulled into a celebratory boogie down at least once.

7.) Persistence: Even in the face of crisis, Iraqi's are determined to go one with their lives. Through three wars in a single generation, they just won't stop moving on. And there is a positivity which I see everywhere - a hope for what comes next. They have a great sense of humor about things. I will never forget how U's cousin would laugh and say "it's a nice bomb. When I hear a bomb I sleep better at night." But even more amazing is that even though the electricity is going off every three hours, and communication lines go down regularly, many internet cafes are springing up, and setting up shop. They can't wait around for things to be perfect. They just jump in and start advancing.

8.) Frankness: If there's a problem, Iraqi's perfer to get it out in the open and face it head on. They may discuss it and argue for hours, but their passion about a subject never dimishes their love for one another. Especially among family. Blood, as they say, is definitely thicker than water there.

9.) Satelite TV: 700 channels, and all you need is a $100 dish and reciever. No monthly service charges. It's as easy to set up as a simple antenae. Here i pay about $40 to rent a DirecTV dish and get around 500 channels. And if I want all the avialble channels it costs a ton more.

10.) Work days: A typical work day for someone who works in a bank for example is like this. Start work at 8:00 or 9:00. Come home at 2:00 PM. Have the rest of the day and night for family, friends, or whatever the heck you want to do. Other scenarios include working from 10:00 am to 2:00 pm, coming home for two hours for lunch and a nap, and then going back to work from say 4:00 to 6:00. Oh, and Thursdays are halfdays and Fridays you get off... If only the US would follow such a model, I'm sure we'd be every bit as productive as we are now, if not more. And for proferssors... 12 hour work weeks are considered full-time. Now that's a life!

11.) Food: When you buy a chicken, they kill it right there and clean it for you. That is fricking fresh! Plus you're more connected to what it is you're eating. If you see it there clucking around, and see the process of how it becomes food, it seems to me that you're not so detatched. People in America think chicken comes from the grocery store, if you know what I mean. They are out of touch with what they are putting in their bodies. That's why people can get away with such inhumane practices toward livestock. Plus, there's far fewer processed foods, which we all know are not good for you, anyway.

12.) Lack of materialism: People are ten billion times more important than things. I don't know how many times someone said to me "if you like it, you can take it," offering me some item that belongs to them. Iraqi's aren't greedy, and are generally very generous with what they do have. I feel an Iraqi would give you the shirt off his back to make you more comfortable.

13.) Moral stability: Even with no laws in place, the Iraqi people function respectfully toward one another. I'm afraid that in the same situation, Americans would rob, rape, and kill each other without regard. Even with no consequences, Iraqi's have a good moral fiber.

14.) Architecture: I have never seen buildings as beautiful as some of Iraq's mosques. Truly fantastic to behold! Words have no power to desribe them!

15.) Tolerence: For the most part, I saw little predjudice among everyday Iraqi's toward other religions. When I told people I was Wiccan, they were more curious than condemnatory. I never felt that religion was pushed on me, though it is such a big part of everyday life.

Okay... I'm sure there are more... but you get the idea...

So, despite my bad, and slightly ignorant, attitude I did see the good things.

K

U. had an interesting conversation with his father on our last day in Amman. It was about Shari'a Islamic law. According to my father-in-law it is normal and acceptable for a man to see a prostitute if he's single, however if a woman lives with a man whom she is about to marry and has sex with him it is a punishable sin. She can be arrested. His wife agreed that this is normal and ok, and that women are basically responsible for being sexually moral and chaste outside of marriage, wheras men are not. I was surprised to hear this from a woman.

This morning I was reading a spoof on the argument against gay marriage found here. It's critical of the antiquated notions of marriage in Christanity.

Now, hold on, because these two are connected. It made me wonder. Is there any scathing self criticism of Islam by Muslims? Is there anyone who says, "hey these things may have made sense in Muhhamad's time, but they don't work now?" Is there progressive Islam?

I remember Uncle K., the religious scholar, mentioning that in his studies he has found certain "holes" in the Quran, but that he would never write about them, since he would lose his status as an acedemic, and may even be persecuted. Or perhaps it was his brother who mentioned this about him.

I also remember someone telling me that the job of the clerics is to make suggestions and sort of "ammendments" to fit the times. Kinda like the pope in Catholicism, I guess. So I'm just curious if it is possible for Islam to shift with the needs and circumstances of a contemporizing culture?

You see I had done some research on the Vodoun religion. The thing I love best about it is that it's constantly in flux. It shifts, changes, adapts. Since the rituals are based upon everyday things, of course it has to. It is a flexible religion, based solidly in African traditions, but always progressing. And then there's my religion, Wicca. It seems suited for the times. The doctrine of live-and-let-live seems to harmonize with post-modern America. It fits. And it's ecologically/earth conscious, which is a much needed awareness in our contemporary society.

It just seems to me that a religion which is incapable of flexibility, reinterpretation, ammendment, or which has no awareness of comtemporary issues that may never have been a concern in the past, can only clash with a changing society. I think that religion can hold on to the power of it's roots, the wisdom of it's longevity, the traditions that people hold dear. However, it has to remain alive. It can't stagnate, or it will become irrelevant, or worse yet force people backwards in human spiritual evolution.

So if anyone has any information regarding a "progressive" Islam, I'd be very interested.

You have to understand, being in the Middle East, it was strange for me to see religion woven so tighly into the fabric of everyday life. It was facsinating, but also a little like a sci-fi novel. It seemed like a persistent sort of conditioning of the mind, to always, no matter what, be aware that you are in a Muslim country. From the call to prayer echoing off houses, to abiyas in the streets, there was a certain in-your-faceness of something that I regard as personal and private. I respect it, but that kind of conformity always unsettles me and my powerful need for individuality.

I can't get over my amazement of this clash of cultures between East and West. I don't know what I expected. Did I expect Europe with a different alphabet and better food? I think I did. It's was something I needed to experience. I know this. One can never fully have a feel for something until one is inside it.

I am now painfully aware of my Westerness. It's almost embarrassing. And yet I'm sort of embracing it.

Today, I am wrestling with a strange sort of at-home-ness whilst my existensialist angst reemerges. I feel I need more education, while wondering why I need anything at all.

Maybe it's time to apply for that PhD program now... I need to occupy my brain with things outside myself again.

K

Yes we are back home in Chicago. I am discombobulated and exhausted. Part of me is scattered in Baghdad and near the border of Jordan. I'm not fully here yet.

Okay, now some tea would be a good idea.

I called my sister S and tried to explain the intrict details of the situation in Iraq. She said I should write all this down.

I'll try.

Dear Iraq, thank you for your warmth, your morning alarm bombs and traffic magic-madness car rides.

Stay well and goodbye.

Love, U

Ah HOME! Superhighfastspeed internet access, and damn I forgot how nice our place is! How "us" it is with all the art on the walls and the clean and best of all - RATS! Yes I got to snuggle buggle my little rattie pets as soon as I got in!

Let's see. I've been sick. For a day and a half I suffered from vomitosis. Everything that went in - even water - came right back out. It was vile. I was driven to the home of the doctor who first helped me with the mosquito bites. Driving late at night in Baghdad is kinda cool and spooky. Anyway I dragged my self onto one of his divans and he took my blood pressure (which was very low), and gave me a medication to stop the vomitting. He ten gave me cumcumbers with salt, and my appetite returned. I sucked cucumber juice all the way home.

Everyone speculated about what I may have. Everything from strange food to sitting outside in the cool air. I knew what it was. U.'s little brother's had had the flu for several days before. And it began with vomitting.

Anyway, I threw up one last time before collapsing into sleep, and then waking up with a nose full of goo and a cough. I still have the cough.

Over two days I got two housecalls from two doctors, both friends of the family. Yes there is still such a thing as a housecall in this world. How cool is that?

I was perscribed an antibiotic. I don't think I need it, but I've been taking it anyway. Nobody really told me how long to take it, so I got enough for ten days. What is a little disturbing, is that anyone can go in to the pharmacist and ask for an antibiotic, and get it. I know from various articles I've read that if you overuse antibiotics the bacteria becomes resistant, and the medication ineffective. Mutated super germs begin to breed and then they have to create new drugs to kill them.

The lack of real solid health eduacation is a bit of a problem in Iraq. No one seems to make the connection between the rampant diabetis and the incredibly large amounts of sugar everyone is pressured to injest, for example. And I noticed a tendency to leave food out in the open for long periods of time (overnight even) and then serve it again the next day. Whereas here there are things on the local news about how long is safe to leave food out before it can grow harmful microbes. And young children are given caffeine and candy as if it's a necessary staple in their diets. It would be a big benefit I think if there were some required course in school that taught proper nutrition and such. Especially to the girls, who seem to grow up to be the ones in charge of what people eat. And why does everyone still seem to think that cold air can cause a cold? Doesn't anyone know about how viruses work?

But I suppose when things are actually stable and they have essential things like electricity and trash pick-up again, there will be more time and energy to spend on such things.

So it felt nice spending some time in Jordan before coming home. Amman is gorgeous! Especially covered in snow. It came hard and fast and melted just a quickly. I joked that it only came to cheer me up. Truly the landscape was breathtaking in places. They call it the white city, because every single building is white like sand. It is the most dreamlike environment I've ever seen.

Spending time with children also has been an excellent contraceptive. Sitting here in our quiet calm apartment we both know we're not anxious to change our lifestyle by adding a dependent being to the mix. Don't get me wrong, U's little brothers (age 2 and 4), are cute, wonderful kids. But they are also normal kids which bring a whirlwind of cries, spills, and chaos into any room they inhabit.

U and I spoke reflectively of our trip on the way home. We highlighted the positives, the negatives... We spoke briefly with a man who just came back from Palestine. An interesting conversation, which perhaps my husband will expand upon later...

As I remember my trip, I think I will write more... But now, I am simply delighted to be home.

K

We are in Amman, Jordan. K is trying to recover from some nasty Baghdaddy virus that has kept her in bed and nasally dripping for the past two days.

But let me back track a bit while we were in Baghdad.

First, there was the area , Al-Mahmodia town, that we drove to on our way from Babel to Baghdad. The place where K was a star. Near it there is another town called Iskandariya. The day after we left a bomb blew up in front of the Iraqi Police station killing 71 people (I believe, I will fact check all this stuff when I get home.)

And then later on in the week there was the bomb explosion that literally shook me out of sleep. K and I both looked at each other wide-eyed and fully awake at 7 in the morning. We were frozen anticipating…what? Another bomb is what I waited for. But no, just a massive blast, sharp and with a short echo. It felt and sounded so close. My cousin Tareef came in a few hours later grabbing something from his closet and hurrying to work. I was still lying in bed thinking about what the hell was going on out there. I asked Tareef about the blast and he casually remarked that it was just another bomb. I found out it was a recruiting center for Iraqi men to sign up in the military. It was maybe 4-6 miles away from my Uncle’s house and we had passed it many times. 28 people died and about 80 people were injured. A man from Jordan left a note taking responsibility and claiming that he is targeting Americans and Shia’s.

Was there any point in worrying about this? Either we are dead or we are not dead and we continue.

You Iraqis, the ones living in Iraq, you guys really have had way too much war. I would not be able to deal with the constant terrorist attacks and various questionable bombing incidents. I think it creates strength in some and in others a morbid sense of humor. Others, mostly brush it off.

A joke. Why did they call Saddam our Father? Because he fucked all of our Mothers.

I’m sorry if this site has been down. I’ll check on it when I get home.

At the border of Iraq there were several American soldiers checking cars leaving Iraq for contraband. I interviewed a couple of the soldiers. There is something unsettling about a niave looking 18-year-old kid with a giant machine gun strapped to his chest. It was not a very thorough search of cars. Mostly they were making sure that the border patrols were not taking bribes. And then there was the soap. You see anyone with soap may be hiding ancient Babylonian ruins in them. So no soap! We had soap. Actually they searched two of our bags barely checking anything and let us go (we had about 8 more bags that went unchecked). I asked one of the soldiers why not check the other way around? You know from Jordan into Iraq. And he said that they really had no jurisdiction over those borders, but sometimes they do. Huh? It seems to me that half the problem with these looters, car bombs and Al-Qaeda assholes is that anyone with a car or a donkey can enter Iraq. Anyway, I asked the soldiers how Iraqis have been reacting to them. And the dumb looking kid replied that Iraqis do not know what freedom is. Of course this pissed me off a bit, especially coming from a soldier with a giant machine-gun on his shoulder. What exactly does he think ‘freedom’ is? Although, I have heard this statement from Iraqis as well. To some people they may associate ‘freedom’ with some form of sexual or expressionistic type of gesture. To others, it may be religious. I would say that in a sense the Shia’s feel totally free to express themselves now and consider that a great freedom. It varies in meaning. I wish my Arabic was better but from what I can get a sense of, the press has freedom of speech. But still, there are some that are careful in what they say, I mean they are afraid. But it’s changing. Everyday Iraq is changing. And besides, I think Iraqis have the right to do nothing as a form of expression or personal freedom. I mean just living, working and raising their families in post-Saddam Iraq is an expression by itself. They need to have that right.

More on this later…my thoughts are being derailed by loud children.

I have shot over 45 hours of video. Do you think I have something?
:)

-Usama

BAGHDAD:

It's in me. Iraq is in me and all the memories of my past, my childhood the things I've wanted to return to are once again swarming in my blood. So the cycle, to be cheezy for a second, is complete. Salam says why not go hang out in Beirut first or spend more time in Jordan? And he is correct. I have not returned to the Middle East in 24 years and I come back to Baghdad today? Yes, not the smoothest transition but that is never my personality. I've always been a bit extreme and will continue to be.

The troops are still outside. I want to approach the US soldiers and say what's up? But I don't want to appear as if I know them or anything. Besides they look jumpy and they are targets.

Please no more tea for me.

A few more days Inshallah and we will make the hellish drive back to Jordan.

Ya Allah...