Nice Bombs

So much sugar! Allah! I cannot eat another kleche without being sick. hehe...

I'm posting an e-mail that I wrote to my family and friends (edited for anonymity). I have others I wanted to post, but my webmail is acting funky:

02 Feb 2004, 05:21:54 AM
Subject: Still doing well...
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Hello again. Salam Allakum.
A book's worth of experiences to tell about. We went to Kadhamia, the site of one of the most holy monuments of Islam. Pilgrams from Iran and Turkey literally filled the streets and there was a huge market. You have to actually physically push people to get through the sidewalks. U's family are related to the gatekeepers of the tomb of two of the Imam's - holy figures. So we got the VIP treatment. We were invited into one of the sitting rooms for tea, and they gave me a mini koran. Photography is strictly forbidden, except for when it comes to the A. family. ;) So I got some nice photos which no American journalist could ever be allowed to take. U's grandmother is buried in one of the surrounding tombs, and the A. name is inscribed on the entrance to the tombs of the Imams. Everything is covered in gold.

The strangest experience was walking through the inside of the tomb. All women, including myself wore Abiya's covering their whole bodies, with just face and hands showing. We looked like a heard of black ghosts. These women were SOOOOOO passionate. We were all crushed together inside, after having removed our shoes and seperating from the men. The women wailed and cried and pushed to get to a spot where they could rub their hands on the tomb, praying loudly. One woman held a jar of rosewater. She would touch the tomb and then put her hand in the water, presumably so that she could take this blessed juice home to Iran with her. It was chaotic, crazy, amazing...

The abiya was only slightly uncomfortable (you kind of have to hold onto it so it doesn't slip off your head), but I felt secure looking more like everyone else. Women would pass me and stare at my face and say "hellua" which means beautiful. According to U some of them said I look like a doll. Another man smiled and said (in Arabic, of course) "Do you wear the abiya because you think we will not know you are Western?" I get the feeling they like Americans here, actually. As long as I respect Muslim culture (covering my head in a Mosque, for example), people show me much respect. A covered woman will never be searched. It is disrepectful to touch a Muslim woman without her permission - not even to shake hands. It's just amazing how prtotected you are just by virtue of having a piece of cloth over you. We girls can smuggle any number of things underneath our convieniently shapeless cloaks. I'm beginning to see the advantages.

Funny note: In my vanity, I began to notice the differences in abiyas - "Hey, hers has lace around the sleeves! I want one of those!" And "how come the turkish girls get to wear such colorful fabrics?" It was a veritable fashion show of modest Muslim dress. Style is insideous, and will creep in where least expected.

What else? The mosquitos here dine on my fair skin as if I were a delicacy. We just went to visit one of my father-in-law's friends, who is a doctor. He lives in this fancy, very well protected area where the heads of the new temporary governemnt reside. Her gave me some itch cream and something like benadryl. If I don't get some DEET I will be nothing but little welts. They don't bite arabs for some reason. They are prejudiced.

Today is the second day of Eid (a big Islamic holiday which involves visiting all of your relatives, slaying a sheep or calf, and eating all kinds of food. The kids shoot off fireworks. It's a little unnerving. Several miles away a building was bombed two nights ago. I was getting ready for bed when I heard it. It shook the floors. I ran out of the bedroom, my heart pounding. U's aunt and cousin giggled at me. "Oh you are not used to our war!" they said. Then they reassured me that the blast was relatively far away, and that had it been close, the walls themselves would feel like they are falling in. They smile and laugh and make jokes. They have been through so much, what else can they do? U's cousin had the building where he works in downtown Baghdad crumble around him, and he crawled out and went home without a scratch. This was when the Americans were bombing. Now it's mostly bazookas from foreign radicals. All Iraqi's are extremely pissed off about this. People come from neighboring countries and shoot their police officers because they cooperate with US soldiers. Iraqi's want peace, not more death.

In talking with most people I am finding that they are happy that the US ousted the ba'ath party. They hated Saddam with a passion. They couldn't even speak about it because they were afraid to be overheard, when he was in power. Now they can say whatever they like. They feel relieved, free... Still, they say, that no one deserved the brutality of the American attack. This was totally unnessesary. I agree. Why so much destruction?

It's so complex, this place... It is like the past and the future all rolled into one. This is where civilization began, and you can still feel it. A little glimpse of how the world was when it was young, but peppered with internet cafes and crowded with cars.

OH MY GOD, the thing I fear most is not guns or bombs, but the driving here! INSANE! One must be agressive just to cross the street. Cautiously move out into the street and force the oncoming traffic to stop. And miraculously, the cars stop. I haven't seen a single accident, even though the cars nearly push and shove each other out of the way. God must be helping (haha).

They are feeding me so many sweets, every house I enter. Kleche, candy, sweet tea, soda... The older children bring it out on fancy platters, and they are insulted if you refuse to eat it. I think I will never eat sugar again when I leave this place! U's uncle K is nearly blind from diabetes. I saw U's step-mom put sugar in her baby's milk. This would be almost unheard of in the US. And I thought I had a sweet tooth! Amazingly though, no one is very overweight. No one is thin, mind you. If you are thin they try to stuff you with more, more, more... or in arabic: ba'ad, ba'ad, ba'ad!!!

Anyway, that's all for now. I have to go to yet another relative's house for lunch. These Iraqi's are a very sociable bunch.

K
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Anyway... Yesterday we visited four different houses. Family obligations/invitations may taper off soon so that we can see the city.

My mind is pudding today. Don't know why... Thinking gramatically in English is difficult right now, since I must make very simple statements when I speak, so as to be understood. I don't mind, but it does reconfigure one's brain after a while.

I really like U's cousin T, who has been driving us around. He's quite sweet and entertaining.

I feel a bit manly here. Lately I have been contemplating the differences between myself as a non-typical American woman (I would never say I'm status quo at all) to what seems to be the role of the typical Iraqi woman. I must say unconditionally that women, even in a two income family are expected to manage everything in the home. Women are expected to be married and have children. And you know, in all fairness, they seem to thouroughly enjoy this role. I am not being judgemental. Afterall, the divorce rate here is maybe one in 2000 as compared to one in 2 in the US. There are many advantages to this model. However, my brain is so Westernized that I could never see myself in this role. I could not see myself serving tea to guests, who sometimes pop in unexpectedly. I especially could not picture myself doing this with a baby on my hip and a toddler running about. I'm sure I would lose my mind.

Two of the women told me the other day that men and women never have sex before marriage. Why do I think this is propaganda? Why is that so hard for me to believe? T says this is true and it is a big problem for young people, because they have no way to express their sexual energy. He is outside the norm, however. Others would say that chastity is a virtue. Me? I just got back from acting as second camera on video shoot in the Carribean last month, where topless women walk around the pool without a care, and this month I'm walking around in an abiya. I feel I have seen the full spectrum.

I look at the Iraq Today newpaper and see that the sex slave trade is flourishing. 15 year old girls are forced into prostitution. The compliment to mainstream chatisty, I suppose, is always a seedy underground. Polarity. Pure social physics.

Let me tell you about T's heard theory. He says in the West autonomy and individuality is highly valued. We are like lone wolves. He says in the East you stay in a heard like sheep. If one sheep moves away from the heard the rest think he has a disease. My postmodern thinking makes me feel that this is an oversimplification, even though he is always always pointing out examples of this to me. In general American culture is very similar. Individuality, though commodified, is also resisted at first. True autnomy is rare. And conversely, I believe that individuality shows itself here, perhaps in more subtle ways. Just like in the US, if you can find enough people to agree with a new idea, it eventually is accepted.

Speaking of being unique, being a semi-vegetarian makes me a little bit of a novelty. I am amazed at how accomodating everyone is regarding my food preferences, however! I feel very welcomed, and everyone makes me feel comfortable. I saw a sheep slaughtered for Eid. It was not as difficult to watch as I thought it would be. In fact it seemed fairly humane, in a way. The spinal cord is cut immediately, so it feels pain for maybe two or three seconds at most. The head, when severed made one last attempt to cry out, the mouth opening in a "bahhh" gesture, but no sound coming out. After I watched how quickly it turns from sentient animal to food. H. skinnned it with great expertise, and I was glad to find that all of the body is eaten. Even the eyes, brain, and tongue. This dish is called Pache.

My favorite dish -- MASGOUF!!! Fire smoked and grilled carp. Huge fish cut down the back so that when you see it from the side it looks like two fish kissing one another. YUMMY! I'm told that this is a purely Iraqi dish.

I hope I don't sound negative about anything that I have experienced. It's just that everything is unfamiliar and different here. I don't criticize, I only try to compare and contrast. If there are Iraqi's reading, bare with me. I am an alien, and mean no disrespect.

I do like the pharmacies here. Yesterday we picked up Valium for 2 cents (US) per tablet !!! (for my anxiety). Everything is cheap and accessible. It seems if there is something you want, there is somewhere to find it.

Lots more... yesterday we saw a school that had exploded. Saddam had hidden weapons in the classrooms, and then looters came in when the war started and vandalized and then torched the place. It blew up. The kids still go to school there, with no windows, no electricy, and no running water. The guard and his family have made themselves a kitchen, and a living space inside. He let us inside to look around. I cannot express how desperate it looked.

Okay... this is all my pudding brain can manage... so much more to tell... this messy war torn place is also beautiful and warm and there is hope and good humor on every face I see. More later.

K